By Gazing out at the rugged mountains and open prairie, while making my four and a half hour drive back to Carroll College after a visit home, I often find myself reflecting on the past three years at school.
My friends and family continue to tell me how much I’ve changed.
I have changed.
Having endured two football-related surgeries in a matter of one year forced me to learn more about myself than I wanted to learn. Navigating this through a pandemic added extra challenges.
As graduation day approaches, I think back on my first days at Carroll.
Thinking of endings makes me remember beginnings.
In August of 2020, I moved into my dorm room, Guad 207. I honestly didn’t know what to expect as I approached a new life as a college student-athlete. Before I knew it, I was wearing number 5 and lacing up cleats for my college football debut game against Eastern Oregon.
It didn’t take long to realize that college football moved at a much faster pace than high school football.
Boom. My first college hit on a kick return and left me with dancing stars.
Growing up in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, gave me an appreciation for the outdoors and the pristine surroundings of nature. I couldn’t have asked to have grown up in a better location. I was raised in a family of four kids, all of which continued to play collegiate sports as well. My mother, a Coeur d’ Alene native, ran cross country in college and my dad, from Billings, played baseball in college.
Athletics have been in my blood from a very young age. I can remember swinging a bat or catching a football as soon as I was able to stand up on two feet.
Thinking of endings makes me remember beginnings.
By high school I had narrowed down to two sports: baseball and football. I wasn’t sure which I’d play in college. Even as my senior year began, I still wasn’t sure. Baseball was always my first love growing up, but as I went through high school, I gained the same appreciation for football.
Then came COVID.
On March 13, 2020, my high school closed, canceling my senior year baseball season. COVID brought stress, confusion, and uncertainty into my life. When baseball was canceled that year, I chose to take the secure route and accept the football scholarship Carroll had offered me.
That seemed like a safe choice: I received funding to earn an education and play a sport.
I felt confident about my choice – until I broke my collarbone.
Once again, everything seemed uncertain and stressful.
Fast forward to the third game of my freshman year against Montana Northern. Coach called a post route directed to me. I remember hearing our quarterback, Devon Bridgewater, saying, “Set! Go!” and then seeing the ball fly. I realized I would need to lay out for this one. As I left my feet and stretched for the ball, I remember hitting the ground and hearing a “crunch.”
I knew immediately that I had broken my collarbone.
I faced a choice.
I could either feel sorry for myself or I could choose to attack the healing process and get back onto the field. I chose to use my injury as an opportunity to grow my mental and physical toughness and return smarter and stronger.
Finally healthy, I was looking forward to a summer of preparation leading into my junior season. The week before school ended in May, I had asked my quarterback, Jack Prka, to meet up and get some extra work in. Planting my right foot to cut on a outbreaking route, I suddenly rolled over my ankle. What initially appeared as a sprain ankle, resulted in surgery. I missed the first two months of the season.
Sitting on the sidelines and watching from the outside, I had begun to question whether I was going to be able to compete at a high level again.
Being immobilized for the second time also forced me to make more choices.
What activities could I do? Watch additional game tape? Lifting? Focus on upper body or mobility exercises?
What I couldn’t do was play.
That frustration has made me more thankful.
I will never take being healthy for granted again.
In the end, I ended up learning more about myself and how to respond to adversity.
Whenever something doesn’t go our way, we are faced with a decision: to give up or to change our mindset and find the silver lining
Hurdles are inevitable; that is life.
But it is up to us on how we respond to adversity.
Choose resilience.
