Mom's kindness - The Prospector

My mom taught me that kindness can be born out of tragedy, out of suffering. Not through words, but through selfless actions.

June 28, 2018, was a beautiful sunny summer day in Boise.

The Kadir family, Ethiopian immigrants, were celebrating the birthday of 3-year-old Ruya. Guests included other immigrant families, who joined in the food and the fun. The party was outside in the courtyard of the Wylie Street apartment complex, a home for refugees.

Many of the families at the party had escaped to the United States in search of a better life. For them, the birthday party was a celebration of more than a birthday – they were thankful for their new lives, dreams come true.

“Ruya was a child who always sparkled when she walked into a room,” said David Mliband, president of the International Rescue Committee.

Counting Ruya, there were six children under the age of 12 enjoying the party, plus a handful of parents.

Ekhlas Al Khudhur and her daughter Miral, Iraqi refugees, were walking back to the apartment complex where the birthday party was being held. They were excited to join in the celebration.

Eklas, her daughter Miral, and her husband Mustafa fled Iraq in hopes of finding a better and safer life in the U.S. They were grateful they had escaped the violence in Iraq.

Ekhlas and Miral had reached the front of the apartment complex when a man approached them. He stabbed Ekhlas 16 times before stabbing Miral four times in the abdomen and leaving her in a nearby field.

He then proceeded to the birthday party inside of the apartment complex, stabbing the six children and three adults.

Ruya, the birthday girl, died from her wounds after being life-flighted to Salt Lake City.

“Four of the victims suffered life-threatening injuries,” said William Bones, Boise police chief. “Others, life-altering injuries.”

Timmy Earl Kinner had been staying temporarily with a resident of the apartment complex. He was not a refugee. Earlier that day he had been asked to leave the complex permanently.

Kinner, 30, had a violent criminal record, and faced charges of assault and robbery, among other charges, in his hometown of Memphis, Tennessee.

Around 3 p.m. Kinner, wielding a knife, exploded in a fit of uncontrolled rage.

Prosecutors would later attribute the horrific crime to his history of mental instability and drug use. He did not target anyone specifically. The violence was not classified as a hate crime.

The tragedy reverberated through the area.

“It’s affected all aspects of the families within the apartment buildings,” Chief Bones said. “As you can imagine, the witnesses in the apartment complex along with the rest of our community are reeling.”

Several charities, nonprofit organizations, and private agencies stepped forward to support the victims and their families. The community banded together to raise more than $450,000, through various Go Fund Me drives, supplemented by individual donations.

The funds were all directed to the International Rescue Committee (IRC), an organization dedicated to helping those whose lives and livelihoods are shattered by conflict and disaster.

Citizens stepped forward to ask how they could help.

Among those was Shelly Cozakos, my mother, an attorney.

“I didn’t even hesitate,” said Cozakos. “Being a mother myself, I felt a special calling to help in any way possible after such a tragic event took the life of a young girl.”

Cozakos helped Mustafa Mohammed and his family advocate for financial assistance and counseling. She ensured they received what they deserved from the general victim fund.

Mustafa and his family had been treated terribly by the U.S. legal system. The IRC under-allocated the money that Mustafa’s family deserved and ignored their pleas for assistance.

For two years, Cozakos and her firm donated their time and resources to make sure that Mustafa and his wife and daughter received fair representation.

“I believe people who need help will cross your path in different ways if you remain open to listening,” said Cozakos. “Helping the Mohammed family navigate their way through the U.S. justice system was an honor.”

Sometimes tragedy unites communities. The Boise community was willing to fight for the victims – providing time, resources and talents.

This tragedy touched me in many ways.

Like everyone, I was shocked by the crime, shocked to discover that such violence was possible and shocked to see innocent people victimized in that way.

But because of my mom’s response, I got a glimpse of the other side of evil – the compassion and kindness of community members to help the victims.

Like all parents, my mom and dad encouraged us to be generous, to help others when we could. But those words became real when mom began advocating for those who couldn’t advocate for themselves.

I saw the stress this put on my mom, yet she never complained. Not once.

“It was a huge strain emotionally,” said Cozakos. “Trying to get justice and fair treatment amidst the pressure from a complicated legal system and difficult language barrier in a case where the outcome was crucial to the wellbeing of the victims.”

I learned firsthand that there is more to life than making money.

Kindness is not something that is always innate, but it can always be learned.

I learned kindness from my mom, from the example that she set for me, working tirelessly, simply out of kindness and love.

I asked my mom why she stepped forward, why she devoted so much time to people she didn’t know.

“People need to be heard,” she said. “And even though some might not want to hear it, it is our duty to stand up for anyone who is in need, no matter what the circumstances may be.”